No clue what to do now that you have been chosen as a best man, or groomsman, here are some valuable tips:
It is an honour to be chosen as one of the select few to be part of the grooms inner circle, but in most cases, these select few have no idea what it means or what to do. Traditionally grooms would choose their best friend or a close family member to be best man, and other relatives or close friends to be his groomsmen.
You might think this is going to be all fun and games and immediately start thinking about the bachelor party and how much fun you’re going to have! However, it is important you take your role as a groomsman seriously, after all you will be helping one of your best friends, plan and enjoy what is often a very stressful, nerve racking day. This means you are to support him throughout the wedding planning process. Here is a full rundown of your responsibilities and expectations:
You will be responsible for buying or renting your own suit or wedding day attire. The groom should specify what he wants you to wear, making your task easier.
Attend all pre-wedding events:
You are expected, where possible, to attend all pre-wedding festivities including the engagement party, couples shower, bachelor party and rehearsal dinner. While the best man will typically give a speech at the wedding reception, you might be asked to say a little something at the rehearsal dinner. You should be there for the couple to raise a glass, or get the party started. Fair warning, a request for a groomsman’s toast could be sprung on you at any time, so always be prepared!
Planning the Bachelor Party:
It is often the best man’s responsibility to plan the bachelor party, however, as a groomsman; you should be there to lend a hand. Your input in terms of date, destination, activities etc. will be valuable. You are also responsible to pay for part of the bachelor party bill, usually splitting it evenly with the rest of the circle, and most likely paying for the groom too.
Take the day very seriously as the groom will need a lot of support. Be on time and be ready to take on any duty and jump in to help wherever is needed. Remember to bring your suit and show up 30 to 45 minutes early, with a smile. Either the night before the wedding or the day of the wedding, help the best man and the rest of the wedding party decorate the honeymoon getaway car (if they have one). Be available in case the groom needs anything. You might be asked to usher guests to their seats before the ceremony, so ask the couple if they have any special seating requirements. If the couple are having a traditional procession, you will be expected to walk down the aisle with one of the bridesmaids or maybe another female member of the family. Have a bottle of water ready for the groom during the ceremony, he will probably need it!
Fulfil any of the requests of the photographer, even though you might not feel good about jumping as high as you can or holding the bridesmaids bouquet, make it about the couple and not about you!
In general, be prepared to serve as a kind of information centre, and point person for any guests with questions (think: Do you know where the restroom is, or where is the gift table or box?) You may also be asked to dance with the groom’s grandmother, the bridesmaids, a lonely flower girl or other single guests. Keep an eye and ear open to be helpful, otherwise, make the grooms speech a little difficult and have fun! If you’re single, make sure you catch the garter!