‘Come with me where dreams are born and time is never planned ‘- Peter Pan
Jenske says “I had just moved to Durban, after studying in Pretoria, to start my career, to become independent just like Sophia Amoruso taught in her book ‘Girl Boss’, which was my handbook to life at that stage. No boys, no drama. I was there to build my empire. Little did I know that a quirky, barefoot, 20 year old boy was going to sweep me off my feet one week later?”
We met through family, who played rugby with Fred at that time. Fred is a South African rugby union player, currently playing Super Rugby with the Cheetahs and Currie Cup rugby with the Free State Cheetahs.
Fred was celebrating their Semi-final win against the Blue Bulls one evening Jenske was at a particular restaurant, and he walked in, barefoot, and walked straight to her and all nonchalantly slid his phone to her on the table, and said, “If you find an Afrikaans girl in Durban, you should marry her”. They were inseparable since that day.
Fred proposed in their own home in Bloemfontein. Jenske says “We always wanted something private, somewhere where we could freely express ourselves. I wanted us to create the moment and the atmosphere, not the atmosphere creating us. I came home from work one random day, when I got to the door it was half open. When I opened the door, there were candles everywhere. Fred stuck hundreds of sticky notes all over the house, and up the stairs. All reading reasons why he will be a good husband, father and best friend to me for the rest of my life. When I finally got upstairs, he was there on his one knee. We spent the night in front of the fire, with champagne and pizza. I would not change that moment for any skywriting, hot air balloon or table mountain.”
Jenske admits to having a serious case of FOMO and hence wanted the perfect venue without missing out on any extras that she had experienced at other wedding venues. Fred on the other hand who does not suffer from FOMO, casually called a family friend who owns a wine farm in Winterton, KZN to find out if their venue would be available. Jenske had her doubts, and thought that he was confusing the venue location with a venue in the Cape. She questioned who would farm with grapes in the middle of the Drakensberg?
She says that as soon as they arrived at Cathedral Wine Estate, she was in awe. Her mouth hung open and she saw the rows upon rows of vineyards and the majestic snowy Drakensberg backdrop. Just perfect, but there was a small problem, the venue unfortunately did not have a chapel and it was her heart’s desire to get married in one. Caren, the amazing manager and event planner at Cathedral peak did not bat an eyelid and announced that they would build a chapel next to the dam, and so it was!! They spent the rest of the day sipping wine on the lawns in front of the beautiful patio, discussing how perfect the venue would be.When asked to describe their wedding in just one word, Jenske says, “I don’t have one word, I have a few. I will describe our wedding as whimsical, playfully quaint, fanciful, fantastical and unusual appealing. Just like a unicorn.”
Fred and Jenske are the epitome of the “opposites attract” phrase. Jenske says “Fred is calm, always listens before he speaks, self-sufficient, best secret keeper ever, master of his emotions and super sensitive to mine, and enjoys a bubble bath rather than a night out. Well me, I am the talkative, energetic, less calm, and always open about my emotions.”
Jenske says that now that they have been married for a couple of months, they have learned to meet each other half way. She says that Fred deals with his emotions in his own way on the rugby field and she cries and eats through her emotions. Jenske says that Fred has taught her how to be clear and calm and she has taught him that it’s fine to go to MacDonald’s drive through for an Oreo McFlurry at two in the morning and that she also now prefers a stay home bubble bath with her hubby rather than a night out.
The couple got engaged in May, and married in December, so everything happened quickly. They started to share photos of their journey to the aisle under the hashtag #linglove (zeiLINGa- our surname) quite early. It was a weekend wedding, so on Friday night all the girls had a huge girls night with Jenske, and all the boys had a big braai with Fred. Family included. Jenske says, it was so much fun waking up with all my cousins, and my best friends.
‘Come with me where dreams are born and time is never planned ‘- This quote was on their wedding invitations and different Peter Pan quotes were used throughout the wedding to set the theme for their wonderful day. Jenske says she wanted Peter Pan, Neverland, never growing up and where all you need is a little pixie dust.
For the décor they used a lot of glass and bright pink vases and hundreds of candles as well as naked hanging bulbs, together with rose-gold sequined and floral printed tablecloths. They had 1000 hanging origami birds, and raised gold cutlery, which all together took Jenske to her very own magical Neverland.
Jenske had lost her dad not long before her wedding, and he was on her mind the moment she walked down the stairs in her gown. She knew that if he was still with them, he would have been standing there waiting, and what a magical moment it was for her.
She loved that her wedding gown had pockets in the skirt, and at the ceremony, both of them stuck their hands in their pockets to produce the rings. After the ceremony she added off the shoulder sleeves to her gown, before the party started. It was such a small change, but was a great surprise to Fred and everyone else. Jenske was thrilled with her 60’s Barbie pink shoes, she says that she felt like she was dancing on ‘you’re the one that I want’ at the end of Grease. She felt the shoes completed her look and just everything.
Her best friend made them a golden pineapple cake, as a wedding gift.” It was so different and unique no one actually knew it was the cake until we did the cake cutting”, she beams. The couple also had another cake as one of their midnight snacks; it was her dad’s all-time favourite, a rice-crispy 3 tier cake, which her mother’s best friend made for them. Included in her bouquet was her dad’s watch, this way he was with her all the time.
“I did not want to say a speech at the wedding, but I still wanted to tell Fred how excited I was to spend the rest of my life with him, so before I walked into the chapel, I recorded a prayer for him that was played through the speakers. He still listens to that prayer very often when he needs motivation, or when he is away for long periods, it will always be something special we share”, says Jenske.
Highlights of her day included seeing her mother and sister’s faces as she walked down the stairs in her wedding gown, which was a total surprise to everyone. As well as walking down the aisle to her dad’s funeral song, seeing her husband in tears for the first time and their first dance. Jenske says “Fred’s speech was amazeballs. He had the whole place in tears, even the Afrikaans boys sitting in front of him spraying him with shaving cream.”
A harvest table was served as the meal, which was a big hit. The table, amongst other food, included breads, fillet steaks, and figs, served throughout the whole night, so everyone could eat at their own leisure. Jenske says “Our wedding was a celebration. Not your average, sit around a table and eat. We had furniture and blankets on the lawns, so people could sit relax there as well.”
Advice from this couple: Fred says, “Make everyone feel appreciated at the wedding, and spend enough time with each individual. Pray for your marriage and your wife every day”. Jenske says, “The biggest cliché ever. It goes past so quickly. So I would say make getting married earlier in the day. I wish I had more time. Haha, FOMO. Don’t drink the night before your wedding, it makes you bloated. Don’t invite random people. You lose 5 mins that you could’ve spent with someone you love. Get a good DJ that will accept song requests –from all your cousins. You have to feel comfortable and beautiful, the photos are forever. Rather be and look yourself, than what other people say. “